My Children Will Glow

Ok everybody, here is what you have all been waiting for ... my new address, of course! So, you can send all of your donations to The Dean Foundation at 新潟県刈羽郡刈羽村大字刈羽 1411-9. Good luck with that.

Anyway, today was my second day at my new job and I am trying not to fall asleep. You see, here is how things have progressed to this point. On second thought, its really not that interesting so I won`t get into it. Basically, I have had no time to move from my previous job to my new one so I am all over the place at the moment. Within the next week, however, I should be settled in my new town of Kariwa, which also happens to be home to the world`s largest nuclear powerplant. Personally, I`d prefer if it were famous for a waterslide than a nuclear powerplant, but I guess that is better than if it was famous for being home to the world`s largest stockpile of sulphur, because that would be unpleasant. I could also be in Edmonton so I will just count my blessings.

As I was saying, today was my second day, but it was my first day to meet some of the elementary students that I will be teaching. Not sure exactly where they pick this habit up, but they sure do like touching foreigner`s private parts. Oh, and my particular favorite requires some participation. Put your palms together and lock your fingers, leaving only your thumbs and forefingers pointed. At this point you should be able to successfully stick up and bank where all the employees are complete idiots because you hands should look like a gun. Ok, now I want you to go find someone that is standing up. Did you find someone? Ok, good. Now, sneak up behind them and try to poke them in the anus. Now wasn`t that fun for everyone? Seriously, who starts this stuff? I mean, this is a pasttime for every kid in the country. Why can`t they just pick their nose or something? Wait, they do that too. But in all honesty, it was a lot of fun to play with the kids. I am sure I will enjoy my new role (junior high 3 days a week; elementary 1 day a week; kindergarten 2 days a month), but I still miss high school. Oh, I should probably say that I would prefer that I am not named as a co-defendent in any sexual harassment lawsuits that are brought against you in the unlikely event that someone didn`t appreciate the finger-up-the-butt-poke.

Other than that, well, as I said before, there is lots going on, but it is not particularly newsworthy so I will spare you. School is now out until September so aside from a few festivals and amazing fireworks shows I don`t think I will be getting up to too much. I`ll try get some picks of my new, massive house that I pay no rent on and live in by myself as soon as possible, as well as some videos. Now that I mention it, I had a teacher record my farewell speech during the summer closing ceremony at my high school so you might find that interesting - Dean speaking in very poor Japanese!

Finally, I just realized that you can send me any donations to the address I listed because I didn`t tell you the postal code. That, and the fact that most of your computers can`t read Japanese characters so it probably just looks like a jumble of weird symbols anyway. So, here is the actual address that you should be able to read.

945-0307 (postal code, not the phone number)
Niigata-ken
Kariwa-gun
Kariwa-mura
Ooaza Kariwa 1411-9

More bits and pieces

Ok, so other than that watching world cup and ranting about it, what else have I been up to. Well, did some more bumming around Tokyo, which is always cool. However, as astonishingly vast as it is, I have seen a lot of it and am now trying to find more of the "Of the beaten bath" type of spots. So, the picture you see is that of the Tokyo Internation Forum. I think it is an exhibition grounds and the architecture is absolutely breathtaking. At times I think that maybe, just maybe the beauty of some of the buildings in Tokyo makes up for the overwhelming dearth concrete and powerlines in everywhere but the major centres of the largest cities, but then I say that no, it does not even come close to compensating. There are some pretty buildings though.

I have also begun the countdown to the big move. At the end of July my contract finishes with my high school and from August I will be moving on to the greener pastures of the town that is basically owned by the world's largest nuclear powerplant. The pastures are pretty green where I am at so it is tough to see how it could get better, but I did go and visit my new place just the other day and well, at least the house is better. I am now in an apartment that while small, is still cozy and I am glad to call it home. My new place is a full-on house, complete with everything and is pretty nice. I'll send pics next month. I will also be teaching junior high, elementary, and yes, even kindergarten and I am absolutely petrified. I have some pretty big shoes to fill also, so hopefully I'll rise to the ocassion. I love my job right now and I am going to miss it, but I also look forward to new opportunities so we'll see how it goes. Still, kindergarten?!?!

Bits and Pieces

The main purpose of this entry is to get you up to speed on the past couple of months. Naturally, it will be all over the place.

I suppose the most important thing that has happened is that I became an uncle for the second time in 6 months. I went back to Calgary from June 9-16th, hoping to time it right for the birth of my brother Devon and his wife Erin's first child. I think Erin's due date was June 7th give or take a day so I didn't think it would be a problem seeing the baby. Well, as it turned out, the baby was 12 days overdue and arrived the day I got back in Tokyo. Come on! What are the odds of that? I suppose I was lucky in January when Janna had her baby because she was about 10 days or so early and the baby popped out the day before I returned to Japan, so I guess you can't win 'em all. Anyway, I am now the proud uncle of Rhys (Reece) Darin Kirkness. I think that is spelled correctly.

Obviously, I haven't met the lad yet, but I predict he will be a great General one day because he is destined to be a master in the art of war. You see, his father is a true and loyal fan of the Calgary Flames hockey team, while his mother is a misguided, yet sincere follower of the Flames' most bitter and hated rival, the Edmonton Oilers. So, the battles are sure to be heated in this household. Will Rhys follow all that is noble and good in the Calgary Flames or will he fall under the influence of the dark side, the Oilers. This, my friends, is a spiritual battle so please pray that Rhys will see the light - and that the Flames will continue to dominate the Oilers. One other thing worth noting is that Rhys will be growing up in the Oilers' stronghold of Innisfail, Alberta. This doesn't help the Flames' cause, but at least he should be a decent golfer and wakeboarder.

Now, while we are on the subject of sports, I must rant about the recent World Cup. For the most part, the football has been really exciting and great entertainment, but there has been one notable exception - England. Last night I watched soccer from midnight until 6 am only to witness not one, but two of my top teams get knocked out of the tournament. First, on paper, England has easily got one of the most talented lineups. Why they can't score is beyond me, but I lay a large share of the blame on Sven-Goran Erikson's head. When you have a team good and are the highest paid coach in you profession (over $10 million CDN per year) you should be winning and winning impressively on a regular basis. England only has themselves to blame and it looks like they are eager to repeat this performance next time around, as they have named Steve McClaren as the incumbent manager. Granted, he is a good coach, but not a manager skilled enough to produce success at this level. They need to stop taking shortcuts and just high someone with a proven record on the world stage (ie. Scolari or Hiddink). Sometimes I just wish I wasn't so darn loyal. England have the players to win in 2010, but this was as good a chance as any. Oh, I suppose the only positive I took from England's performance was that of Canadian (and Calgarian, I might add) Owen Hargreaves' performances, particularly in the Portugal game. The man was a machine in the midfield and was indisputably England's best player for that game. He was also the only "Englishman" to score in the penalty shootout. Speaking of which, for all those teams out there who will play England in the future, the key to beating them is just to get the game to penalties because England will always, always choke.

As for Brazil, well, they are the perennial favorites anyway and are a virtual factory in producing world class players. I am sad they lost, but not angry like I am with England. Besides, I am a big fan of Zidane and his recent performances have been virtuoso and show that he still has what made him the best player in the world a few years back. If you want to see a complete footballer then he is your man. Absolutely brilliant stuff. Anyway, he is retiring at the end of the tournament so every victory for France prolongs his career by one game. While I would almost never cheer for France under normal circumstances, Zidane makes them the sentimental favorite. Nevertheless, I think Germany is going to win because they are playing at home. I can't stand any of their players, but I like their coach Klinsmann because he is enthusiastic about the game and tries new things. He also really seems to care for his players and I respect him ... but I still want them to lose. Forze Italia (although they usually choke)!